Where Are You Going on Vacation?

Milton Berle said, "Laughter is an instant vacation." I was pondering those words this week while fantasizing about a little R & R. It has been a while since I have hopped on a plane or taken a road trip and journeyed to a new destination. I was reminiscing about an experience I had as a teenager when I flew to Orlando with a girlfriend right after we graduated from high school. I remember spending time lounging by the pool at the hotel while thumbing through fashion magazines and sipping my favorite drink: 7-Up (not Sprite, not Sierra Mist), with crushed (not cubed) ice, mixed with the juice (fresh, not concentrated) of half a lime. Ahhh. That vacation, a gazillion years ago, was completely relaxing, but I'm sure I didn't entirely appreciate the luxury of it. Little did I know then that in the future I would marry and have four kids. Vacations with the fam are still memorable, but now often for a completely different reason.

I will never forget, for instance, the vacation we took with the kids to Calistoga outside of Napa. We packed up a carload of "necessities" and headed for the great outdoors--during a heatwave. It wasn't until after the tent was pitched, the sleeping bags were arranged and the picnic table was ready that we realized we had set up camp practically on top of a hornet's nest. Hornets, as it turns out, love baby formula and terrorizing overheated mothers and their young.

Then there was Paris. Ah, Paris. It's lovely in the Springtime. Our whole family was thrilled to be strolling down the Champs d'Elysee. That is until our oldest son opened his mouth and we noticed he was missing something. Moments later we were digging through various trashcans along the street in search of his retainer. Amazingly enough, French garbage, is just as smelly and gross as American garbage. Ooh, la, la.

As a family we learned to hold our breath (and some of us closed our eyes) as we drove through Switzerland in the dead of winter and the clutch went out in our van. "We just lost second gear," my husband announced. "There goes first..." Stopping and starting with traffic in the heart of Zurich with only third and fourth gear made for a memorable trip; one that still makes my armpits perspire. May I breathe now?

And on it goes. There have been leaky poopy diapers on airplanes, hours of frustration as we've driven around (and around) completely lost and in need of directions--in English, and brawling boys in the back seat. In Twin Falls, Idaho we were scolded by the front desk because the kids had "heavy feet" and bothered the guests below us. We have put gasoline in a tank that can only take diesel. And on more than one occasion we have spilled fast food (and drink) in an already filthy, sticky car.

Thinking back on such moments, however, truly does make me smile. I think I'll bring up these memories at dinner tonight and together as a family we can have a good laugh. While we eat our leftover beans and spanish rice we'll enjoy one of those "instant vacations" Milton Berle talked about. Laughter is cheap, but effective R & R.